Parodies of PJO
by zynaofthenight
Summary: Mary-Sues, OOCness, and an author who just feels like poking fun at random characters. A collection of parodies, each written in a different style. Enjoy. :D
1. Daughter of Artemis

**I was bored, and decided to create some Mary-sues. This is a parody, so the characters are intentional Mary-sues. And OOC, for the original PJO people. Each chapter will be in a different style of writing.**

**I don't own PJO…**

Daughter of Artemis

Larissa was brought into the world, bathed in the silver light of the moon. It was a joyful event, as the Hunters and Lady Artemis herself were so enchanted by her flawless beauty and grace that they forgot about Artemis's vows of virginity.

"She's so perfect," breathed the goddess, holding her child reverently.

Larissa gazed at her mother, silent and extremely solemn for a baby.

"What will we do?" asked a Hunter in the shadows. "She must be hidden until she is ready to be shown to the world."

Artemis sighed, a silver tear tracing a glinting path down her cheek. "We must protect her," she sobbed. "My precious darling. My beautiful child."

The Hunters took the tiny girl from their Lady's arms, and brought her the doorstep of a random house in the middle of nowhere. The immortal girls stared at the newborn, and each of them sighed, wishing that they could have such a wonderful child themselves.

The baby breathed quietly, aware that she would change the world one day.

…

Alas! But her new parents were the most horrible of all guardians! They kept friends from her, made her slave endlessly over unnecessary labors, and neglected her as if she wasn't important.

Larissa grew. At the age of fifteen, she was so beautiful that the birds themselves would follow her everywhere, and flowers bowed their heads in shame whenever she passed by, so pleasing to the eye was the girl.

Her curling auburn hair fell to her waist, and her silver eyes were kind, gentle, yet fierce.

Larissa was absolutely perfect, and special. Very special.

…

So one day, she met a girl on the way to school.

"Hello," said Larissa, as she was always cheerful and kind to everyone.

The girl smiled back. "Hello. My name is Annabeth. What's yours?"

"Larissa," was the answer, and the sun beamed brighter at the sound of her beautiful name.

"It's so exquisite!" gushed Annabeth.

At once, Larissa somehow knew that Annabeth was a daughter of Athena. No other person would use words as big as 'exquisite.'

"Larissa," asked Annabeth seriously, "do you have ADHD and dyslexia?"

The tears fell from Larissa's eyes as she began to sob.

"What's wrong?" asked Annabeth, looking truly concerned.

"Alas!" cried Larissa. "It is the only thing deforming my perfect existence. It is my curse! And I shall have to live with it forever!"

"Oh!" gasped Annabeth. "You must be a half-blood! Come with me to camp! Everyone will love you there!"

Larissa didn't bother asking what a half-blood was. She was so knowledgeable that she immediately knew she was the child of an immortal deity.

"I know who my parent is," she announced to Annabeth. A voice in her head had told her.

"Who?" asked Annabeth eagerly.

"Artemis," Larissa whispered. "She is my mother."

"How amazing!" Annabeth squealed. "That is so absolutely astonishing! We must get you to camp quick."

Larissa smiled, a beautiful, glowing smile that radiated upon everything. "Of course I'll come."

…

So she went to camp. Her archery skills were absolutely astonishing, and she could beat even the most experienced archer from the Apollo cabin.

Her running and tracking skills were unmatched by all, and she was admired by everyone.

It was a sunny afternoon when Chiron announced that Artemis and her Hunters would be coming to visit Larissa.

"Larissa, my darling!" gushed Artemis as she embraced her daughter. "Oh! How beautiful you are!"

"Yes, mother, I know," replied Larissa, and everyone almost swooned to hear those light, kind words come out of her delicate mouth. Oh, was she so amazing!

Thalia bowed to Larissa. "You should be our new Lieutenant. I am not worthy of being captain to the Hunters if you are here."

"Oh!" exclaimed Larissa. "Should I?"

"Yes," said Artemis warmly. "Larissa, dear, would you like to be the new Lieutenant?"

"Oh, yes!"

Larissa completed the vow and made a sweeping curtsy at the campers. "Good-bye, and farewell, my dear fiends! I shall see you again someday!"

Annabeth cried and sobbed to see Larissa go. "Good-bye, Larissa!"

The newly made Hunter cast a kiss in her direction, as if blessing her. "May your life's wishes by fulfilled, Annabeth!"

…

Larissa was a wonderful lieutenant. She cared for all the Hunters and hunted extremely well.

One day, she was alone in the woods when she met a rabid bear.

"Die!" she yelled in her melodic, perfect, voice. "You are harming the citizens of this world!"

The bear was so enchanted by her powerful and charming voice that he decided to lie down and die.

Unfortunately for the daughter of Artemis, the rabid bear's rabid mate came along and she was not happy.

"Rawr!" the bear growled, waving her fearsome claws around.

Larissa was not afraid. Who would be?

"Die, too!" she commanded.

The bear growled.

"Oh!" Larissa sobbed, silvery tears flowing from her eyes. "Please! Why can't it work! There must be something wrong! Oh!"

The bear stopped being menacing and regarded Larissa with concerned eyes.

Larissa smiled. She was so perfect that everyone had to notice her. "Please," she asked the bear. "Could you die? You are making a blot in the perfect history of human beings."

The bear was so touched by Larissa's words that she decided to die.

The sad thing was, the bear didn't really know where Larissa was standing, and therefore crashed onto the Hunter.

…

A week later, the Hunters and Lady Artemis gathered by an elaborate grave, every one of them sobbing their hearts out.

"She was such a wonderful girl," blubbered Phoebe. "She was a wonderful sister."

Thalia nodded. "Yes, she was."

The mourning wails of the Hunters rose.

In the middle of the group, was a tombstone inscribed with:

_Larissa, daughter of Artemis and a wonderful Lieutenant of the Hunters._

_We shall always remember her perfectness and her kindness._

"Let's go," said Artemis bravely. "It is time to put this into the past and look to the future."

The Hunters nodded tearfully and they all left.

No one noticed that the inscription on the tombstone had changed.

_Larissa, daughter of Artemis and a complete Mary-Sue._

_May all you writers never make a character as horrible as she is, unless you are doing it on purpose._

_She lived and she died, and that's the end of one more Mary-Sue in this world._

**Like it? Next up, "Percabeth Soppiness."**

**Go parodies! Tell me if this story is a good parody or not. I want it to be awesome :D**

**Review, por favor!**


	2. Percabeth Soppiness

**Whoa. That was a lot of reviews…o.O Thanks to all who reviewed. :D**

**Love the name, ****..dead. Beautiful :D Though I must disagree. I want mah peanut butter too.**

**The second parody, with lotsa percabeth mushiness and other stuff…like proposing. Not exactly for Percabeth lovers, but I think this is quite amusing.**

**Parody happens six years after TLO.**

**I don't own PJO.**

Percabeth Soppiness

"Seaweed Brain!" cries Annabeth affectionately, flinging her arms around Percy. "I've missed you so much!"

"I know, Wise Girl," replies Percy, with unnatural enthusiasm. "I've been thinking of you every day, all the time! For the past hour I haven't seen you, I've been longing for your kiss!" He goes on, talking about how Annabeth was so beautiful, the apple of his eye, etc.

She gasps at his words, and mashes her lips with him in a kiss that lasts an impossibly long time.

An hour passes, before they break free.

"Oh, Seaweed Brain!"

"Oh, Wise Girl!"

"Oh, Seaweed Brain!"

"Wise girl!"

They go on like that, gushing about each other in a slightly nauseating way.

Finally, after a few hours of uttering each other's name, when their voices should have begun to go hoarse, except they haven't, Percy pulls Annabeth into another mushy kiss.

They repeat that for a few times.

Finally, when the physical laws of nature should have made it impossible, Percy and Annabeth kiss one last hour-long smooch and part ways, each biding the other a tearful farewell.

"I'll see you in five hours," cries Annabeth.

"Five hours!" exclaims Percy. "That's too long! I bide thee farewell, my dearest Annabeth."

"And I too," she cries back theatrically.

"Until we meet again," swoons Percy romantically. "I shalt give you my love, darling Wise Girl."

"And I, Seaweed Brain."

They walk away, in opposite directions.

…

Five hours later, they are both sitting on a bench in Central Park, locked in a tight kiss.

It seems that they didn't care that it was now three in the morning, and that they should be sleeping. No, it was the devotion and love that they had for each other that made it a second instinct to be kissing fervently in a park in the middle of the night.

"Oh, Wise Girl," gushes Percy. "I love you sooooo much, and you know it."

"Yeah," gushes Annabeth back. "I love you too."

Another round of mushy kissing.

"What did you do in the five hours we haven't been together?" Annabeth asks, not even breathless, after kissing without coming up for air for an hour.

Percy squirms guiltily. "I was talking with Rachel."

Immediately, one could see that Annabeth's expression has changed drastically.

"RACHEL?" she practically screams. "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"

"Yes, I do!" says Percy hurriedly. "Annabeth, you are the rose of my life, the most wonderful person ever! But Rachel is my friend. She's the Oracle. She can't like anyone. I was just having a friendly chat with her."

Annabeth cries, great big tears falling down her face. "But you were talking to…Rachel. Oh, Percy, why do you have to ruin everything?"

Percy's expression turns confused. "What do you mean?"

"Remember Calypso? I knew you had something with her. And Rachel. Oh, the misery!" Annabeth throws herself from Percy's arms and flees into the darkness, sobbing.

Percy sits there for a moment. Then, he runs off into the darkness, in the opposite direction.

…

"That would be $10,000, sir," says the cashier.

Percy fingers the ring he has just bought. "Alright then." He pulls out his wallet. "Um, here's the money."

The cashier takes the bills, and Percy walks out of the door, stuffing the ring box into his back pocket. He looks around at the street. It is early morning.

Now where would Annabeth have gone?

He goes to her apartment first. There was no one at home. He wanders about the city until he has a brilliant idea.

The Empire State Building! Of course! Annabeth was obviously at the Empire State Building because she was looking at her architecture. And probably talking to Athena, but he puts that thought out of his mind.

"600th floor," he tells the doorman as he walks in.

"There's no 600th floor."

Percy rolls his eyes. After all those years, the doorman was still saying that. "Look, Mr. Whatever. I need to go see my girlfriend. And she's on the 600th floor."

"Nope. Move along."

Percy sighs, and brings out his sword, Riptide. He uncapps the pen, and the blade appears, glistening in front of the doorman.

The doorman licks his lips nervously. "Fine. Take the key."

Percy takes the key and proceeds to the elevator. He presses the button for the 600th floor, and the elevator shoots up into the sky.

He finds Annabeth crying by a fountain on Olympus, and he hugs her from behind.

"Go away, Percy," she sniffles, pushing his arms away.

He clings on. "I'm so sorry Wise Girl. But Rachel's just a friend."

She snorts. "Prove it. Prove that you love me more."

He grins, and stands back. "If you stand up."

She struggles to her feet, then glares at him. "Fine. Now what?"

He reaches into his back pocket and takes out the ring. He kneels on the floor.

"Annabeth Chase, will you marry me?"

Her face is shocked. She turns pale, then launches forward and hugs him.

"Yes!" she sobs, "Yes!"

They go into another bout of kissing, one that lasts for two hours this time.

The Olympians in their throne room are watching the scene, from one of the video cameras Hephaestus has planted behind the couple.

"Absolutely horrible!" Athena declares, her face puffing up in anger.

"Oh, so romantic," sighs Aphrodite. "I love it so much!"

Poseidon frowns, and shakes his head, but doesn't say anything.

Zeus glares angrily at the camera. "I think we should blast them to lightening."

"Now come on," Aphrodite reasons sweetly. "They're the heroes of Olympus, Lord Zeus. We should have it this way."

Zeus grumbles, and doesn't look convinced, but he sits back down. "Fine."

The two lovers, unaware of the conversation that had just taken place, prance down to the elevator, kiss exuberantly, then go down to the first floor of the Empire State Building to plan their wedding.

**That was really sappy…o.O **

**Did I do a good job? I don't usually write Percabeth, and this was a parody, so I exaggerated everything, and yeah.**

**I had fun writing this though :D**

**Review please…:D**

**Next up, "Nico's New Crush," written in first person this time.**


	3. Nico's New Crush

**Back again, with another parody!**

**I don't own PJO.**

Nico's New Crush

The angry Fury crashed into me, digging her claws into my flawless skin.

"Die, half-blood," she hissed.

"No!" I screamed, my voice blending into the melody of the birds. "I refuse!"

The door of the classroom crashed open, and an extremely cute goth boy barreled in.

"NO, ALECTO!" he yelled, waving a black sword in a very pro manner. "DON'T!"

The Fury, Alecto, I presumed, paused, and stared at the boy. "What is it, Hades's son? Lord Hades has ordered me to kill her."

The boy gazed at me, and blushed furiously. "Do not kill her. She's…too special."

"Very well, then," grumped the Fury. She rose into the air, and disappeared.

The boy walked over to me, and pulled me up. "Are you alright?" His eyebrows were scrunched up in concern and his voice soft and gentle.

"I guess so," I trilled, blushing in spite of myself. "Who are you?"

He ducked his head in embarrassment. "No one special, really. I'm just Nico di Angelo."

"Nico di Angelo." I tried the name out. "It's an absolutely gorgeous name."

He blushed again, turning an adorable shade of pink. "It's nothing."

"Nothing?" I asked, shocked. I could feel my delicate heart fluttering, flabbergasted. "Nothing? It is perfect! And you are my savior, my knight in shining armor!" I kissed him on the cheek.

He shrugged, his face now a flaming red. "Let's get to Camp Half-Blood."

I put a hand over my perfect mouth. "Half-blood? Everyone's talking about that."

"You're a demigod, a daughter of one of the Greek gods."

I believed him immediately. After all, who wouldn't? "Alright then. How are we going to get there?"

"By shadow traveling," he replied, and stepped into the shadows, while taking my hand.

…

"Chiron!" Nico called. "We have a new camper!"

A centaur galloped up, his face agape in shock. "Why, she's beautiful! How lovely!"

I smiled at him. "I know. I am absolutely gorgeous." And I was, of course. Who had hair as long, blonde, shining, and gorgeous as I did? Who had dark, luscious violet eyes like mine? Who was as pale as snow yet as bright as the sun like I was?

"Who's your godly parent?" Chiron asked, staring at my lovely profile.

"I don't know," I whispered furtively, giving him one of my famous, adorable looks.

At that moment, a misty sign appeared on my head, and I beamed at the gasping campers.

"A daughter of Aphrodite," Chiron said in hushed tones. "No wonder."

"Oh," whispered Nico. "I knew you'd be her daughter! You're too perfect and beautiful to be anyone else's."

I smiled at him, and offered him my hand, which he kissed rather fervently.

"I'll show you your cabin," Nico murmured, with a lovelorn look in his eyes.

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" I exclaimed.

He took me down the the cabins, and showed me the Aphrodite cabin.

I didn't frown, because that would ruin my perfect figure, but I tilted my head in the prettiest way ever. "This cabin needs a make-over."

Nico agreed by nodding his head obediently. He was such a sweet little boy.

"Oh," I gasped dramatically. "This cabin needs more pink!"

Nico nodded again, smiling. "I love pink!"

I studied him. "I think you should wear some pink. All black isn't good for you."

He nodded again. "Yeah! I'll wear some pink now!"

Just then, Hades appeared out of nowhere, and scowled at me.

"You are annoying me," he boomed. "I shall kill you now!"

"NO!" yelled Nico, and he threw himself in front of me as Hades threw a black ball of energy at me.

I gasped in shock. "Nico!"

I knelt down to see if he was still alive. With my superior healing skills, I brought him back from the dead.

"Oh, Nico!" I cried passionately. "I was so afraid you'd be lost from me forever!"

Nico responded by kissing me enthusiastically on the lips.

Hades had been standing there the whole time, frowning.

"What is this?" he roared.

Nico stood up bravely, and faced his father.

"Father, she is my perfect new girlfriend," he declared. "She's the daughter of Aphrodite! Her name is…uh…her name is…"

"Speshul Glitter Opal Jewel," I whispered loudly.

"Right. Her name is Speshul Glitter Opal Jewel. Hades, I love her!"

I beamed at the boy. He was so totally my type.

"And I love you too!" I gushed, and we started a make-out session in front of Hades.

Hades twitched. And covered his eyes in horror.

"GAH!" he bellowed. "YOU SHALL PAY!"

I fluttered my eyelashes at him. "Now, Lord Hades, you wouldn't do that, would you?"

Hades got really, really, angry and scary and threw another energy ball at me.

This time, it hit me.

And I died.

**I'm sorry. I couldn't figure out what to do with her, so I killed her off in a very random and lame way :D**

**Lolz. **

**Review please :D**

**Next up, "Daughter of Poseidon."**


	4. Daughter of Poseidon

**Of course, zynaofthenight owns PJO, right?**

***Rick Riordan walks in* "What did you say?"**

**Er…I said that zynaofthenight DOES NOT own PJO. Hehe…**

Daughter of Poseidon

Look. I don't care what you say, but I'm definitely _not_ some perfect little girl who knows everything.

Yeah, so I've got flawless skin the color of milky cream, deep sea-green eyes, and a dazzling smile, but I'm not perfect. Sure, my beautiful wavy and long black hair is the envy of all the girls.

But I'm not perfect.

See, I have dyslexia and ADHD. It really is quite annoying, and is my imperfection. Otherwise, I'm a quiet, well-behaved girl who is really good at swimming, and is liked by all the boys. I know that every guy in my classes has a huge crush on me, and that every girl wants to be just like me.

But I'm _not _perfect. Why won't people understand that?

When my friends tell me that they want to be just like me, I laugh bitterly and tell them, "You wish. If only you knew…"

I'm different. I'm haunted. I'm chased. I have a ninety-nine percent chance that I will die at any time.

I'm a half-blood.

It all started like this.

…

So here I was, sitting at my desk, listening to my teacher talk about Greek mythology. I love Greek mythology, because I've always felt a special connection with the gods. Weird, right?

"The Greek Gods had many mortal children," said Mr. Brunner, my teacher. "And they always will…"

He gave me that piercing gaze he often gave me whenever he said that.

The intercom crackled to life. "Mr. Brunner, will you please send Amethyst Jackson to the office?"

"Amethyst?" Mr. Brunner asked. "You'd better get going."

I stood up. "Alright, sir." What could they possibly ask of me?

As I passed by my teacher, he snuck something in my hand. As I walked into the hall, I realized that he had given me a pen.

A pen? What could I use a pen for?

As I entered the office, I noticed a heavily armed security guard.

"Amethyst Jackson," he growled.

"Yes?" I asked. I had that knack of knowing exactly what to answer.

The man roared, and turned into a hydra.

"Ahhh!" I screamed. "A hydra!" I quickly looked at the pen in my hand. I suddenly knew exactly what to do.

It was a sword. Of course. Anyone would know that.

I uncapped the pen quickly, then rammed it into the hydra's necks. Pretty soon, it dissolved into monster dust.

I capped the sword. "Wow."

A muffled shout came out, and I turned, surprised. Standing in front of me was a boy who looked like he could be my twin.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed. "How did you do that? Hydras can't be killed like that! You must have some great important power to be able to kill it in one thrust!"

I blushed. "It was nothing. I just know how to. It's really weird."

He nodded solemnly. "Come with me. I think you're a half-blood. A daughter of one of the gods."

"Really?" I asked. "I—wow, I'm really amazed."

He looked at me. "I think you're a daughter of Poseidon. I mean, you look extremely like me. I'm a son of Poseidon. Do you like water?"

"Oh yes!" I said happily. "Especially swimming!"

He grinned. "Then come on!"

So we went to Camp Half-Blood.

…

"Wow! You look so amazing!"

I smiled a bit. "Thanks for the compliment, but really, I'm not that great looking." I lowered my eyes to seem modest.

The gray-eyed girl shook her head. "No, no! Really, Amethyst, you look wonderful!"

"Well, thank you…"

"My name's Annabeth," she said. "I'm so glad you're Percy's sister. Percy's my boyfriend." She looked very proud to say that.

"Really!" I gushed. "That's amazing! Percy seems to be a really nice guy. How nice to have a person like him for a boyfriend."

She beamed. "Hey, do you want to go to the beach? We can see your 'daughter of Poseidon' skills."

"Oh, yes!" I cried. "I've always wanted to do see! Let's go!"

We ran to the beach, and Annabeth and I jumped into the waves.

"Can you walk through that wave?" Annabeth asked. "I want to see."

"Of course," I said, totally confidant. "Just you watch."

I began to wade in the water until I reached a huge wave. "Watch!" I yelled, then plunged in.

I didn't notice that my feet were soaking wet and dripping water.

…

Annabeth watched the pretty girl jump into the waves. "She's going to do it!" she muttered to herself. "Wow. This is really cool."

Suddenly, there was a burly security guard next to her.

"Hey Argus," said Annabeth contentedly. "Watch Amethyst. She's the new daughter of Poseidon."

Argus's eyes bulged out, and he ran off hurriedly.

"Huh," said Annabeth. "I wonder why."

"ANNABETH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

This time, Rachel Elizabeth Dare was speeding across the sand, a panicked expression on her face.

"Huh?"

"SHE ISN'T A DAUGHTER OF POSEIDON!"

"But—she looks exactly like Percy!"

"SHE's NOT EVEN A HALF-BLOOD!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Amethyst…is just…a Mary-Sue…" panted Rachel. "She's…not a real…half-blood. Just…an imitation."

Annabeth covered her mouth in horror. "Oh my gods! We have to save her from drowning!"

Rachel pointed to a faraway figure. "Argus is doing that."

Annabeth watched in morbid fascination as a girl was tossed up and down in the ocean, looking like she was about to drown.

There were a million things Annabeth could have said at that moment, ranging from 'we need to help her!' to 'I hope Argus saves her,' but all she could say was one word.

"Oops."

…

Amethyst was taken away, and no one ever heard of her again. Some say she was kidnapped, some say she just stopped existing since her devious Mary-Sue nature had no use anymore.

Whatever the reason, the campers at Camp Half-Blood could take a breath of relief now. Who knows what an imitation daughter of Poseidon could have done to quite a few demigods…

**Hahaha, I love how she's like, "But I'm **_**not**_** perfect." It just shows how ironic that phrase can be.**

**Review please :D **

**Next up: "Truth or Dare."**


	5. Truth or Dare

**zynaofthenight doesn't own PJOOOOOOOOOOOO…**

Truth or Dare

"Hey Percy," said Annabeth to a certain Seaweed Brain one day.

"Huh? Annabeth, is that you?"

The certain Seaweed Brain was currently practicing in the sword arena, and not really paying any attention to his surroundings. He stopped, and glanced at his girlfriend.

"Percy," said Annabeth randomly. "Let's play Truth or Dare!"

This was followed by silence, which went on for some time, then a loud shout of laughter from Percy.

"What?" demanded Annabeth, putting her hands on her hips and looking annoyed. "What did I say?"

"Dare!" spluttered Percy. "Like, you know, Rachel Elizabeth _Dare_! Haha!"

"Very funny," glowered Annabeth. "No, seriously, Percy. Let's go and play Truth or Dare."

"Why should I? I'm trying to practice my sword skills at the current moment!" he huffed, crossing his arms and looking pissed off.

"Because if you don't, I won't love you anymore!"

Now that was a serious thing for Percy to consider. "Uh…okay…fine. I'll play," he agreed reluctantly, knowing he'd regret it sooner or later.

So Annabeth managed to drag Percy to the campfire, where she dumped him onto a bench.

"Wait here," she told him.

"Um…okay…"

Pretty soon, Annabeth reappeared with Nico, Clarisse, Chris, Silena, and Grover.

"Let's play now!" she said, beaming at everybody.

"Oooh!" squealed Silena. "Yeah!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" said Grover. "Silena, aren't you supposed to be dead? I thought you died in the second titan war…"

"I'm not now!" she said, smiling at the satyr. "I decided to come back alive again!"

"Yeah!" said Annabeth. "And I helped her!"

Everyone stared at the two girls.

"…no comment…"

"What!" The two girls stared back.

Percy sighed. "Alright then…go ahead with the Truth or Dare. Just get it over with. I want to go back to sword practice soon."

"So now…" said Annabeth happily. "Let's have Luke join our group!"

"Um…Annabeth…" said Nico. "Luke's supposed to be dead too…like Silena…"

"No he's not supposed to! He's not even dead!"

Annabeth glared at Nico.

Nico shrugged and shook his head. Percy looked confused.

"Hey everybody!" said a voice from behind them all.

"Luke!" Annabeth squealed happily. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy waved nicely at everyone.

Percy facepalmed.

Clarisse looked like she was going to murder someone. Chris looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. Nico frowned, and made a cuckoo sign at Annabeth.

Silena grinned happily, unaware of the others' expressions.

"So," she said as sweetly as honey. "Who is first?"

Annabeth pointed at Percy. "Truth or Dare?"

Percy groaned. "Why me? Why not Grover?"

"Because I said so, Seaweed Brain!"

Percy moaned.

"Hurry up!"

"Uh…Truth?"

Annabeth grinned. "Do you really have a secret crush on Luke?"

"…Annabeth…what have you been taking?"

She pouted. "Tell the truth."

"No, of course not!" yelped Percy, looking disgusted. "Duh!"

Annabeth whined, looking disappointed.

"My turn next!" said Silena cheerfully. "Clarisse, Truth or Dare?"

The daughter of Ares glared at her best friend. "Dare," she said. "I'm not going to be a wimp like Jackson."

Silena laughed manically. "Whahaha! Very well! Clarisse, I dare you to…kiss Chris! Muahaha!"

Clarisse stood up, and punched Silena in the face. "What is wrong with you?"

Silena subsided, crying. "Owwee," she sobbed. "You ruined my perfect face! Whaa!"

Clarisse just smirked, and walked off. Silena went off in the other direction, wailing her head off.

"Well!" said Luke after a long silence. "I'll play now."

Everyone ignored him.

"Hello?" Luke said, waving his hands across Percy's face. "Anybody home?"

No response.

Luke growled, and jumped to the amphitheatre. "Fine!" he yelled.

Then, he had a brilliant idea.

The son of Hermes somehow found a microphone and hooked it up.

"HELLO PEOPLE!" he screamed into the mike. "I'M LUKE! IS ANYONE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME?"

Percy looked up. "Oh Luke!" he said, surprised. "I didn't see you!"

"About time."

So Luke came back, and they all continued their game.

"Grover!" said Luke. "Have you ever cheated on Juniper?"

"N-no! Definitely not!"

Chris sighed, and rolled his eyes. "You people are so dumb. I'm going."

He walked away.

"Oh well," Luke shrugged. "Hey, let's get someone else to play!"

Nico stood up to leave. "Yeah, you know what? I'm going too."

Now there were only Luke, Annabeth, and Percy left.

"Hey!" said Luke. "Let's get Thalia over here too!"

He somehow magically made Thalia appear with a wave of his hand.

"Oh! Um…where am I?" asked the Hunter, glowering at Luke.

Luke smiled happily. "Hi Thalia!"

Annabeth stared at the two, her eyes widening with realization. "Luke…oh gods. You love Thalia, don't you? And you don't love me! Whaa!"

She ran off, sobbing.

"Huh?" Luke looked perplexed, then ran off after Annabeth. "Annabeth! Don't go! I need to talk to you!"

Now Thalia and Percy were left alone.

"Pah," spat Thalia. "Why am I even here?"

She disappeared off again, leaving Percy by himself.

The son of Poseidon leaned back, taking a relieved breath. "Finally!" he muttered. "Peace."

He sat there for a little while, then stood up again. "I'd better get back to the cabin," he decided. "I'm a little tired."

He started walking towards the Poseidon cabin, yawning from time to time.

"Percy!"

The boy turned. It was Chiron.

The centaur galloped up to Percy, and looked at him anxiously. "Percy, Annabeth is running around camp with Luke, who's supposed to be dead, chasing after her."

"Um…ah, that…"

"Silena, who's supposed to be dead too, is complaining to me that Clarisse just punched her nose. Chris and Nico are hiding away from everyone, and I think I just saw a glimpse of Thalia."

"Oh…uh…see…"

" Can you please tell me, Percy? What the Hades is going on?"

Percy sighed, and tried to think up of a proper response. "Well, Chiron, I don't really know how to explain this. But…you see…"

The centaur put his hand up in a motion for Percy to stop. "Wait. I know. Somebody over here has had too much sugar."

"Actually…no. For once, surprisingly so."

"Then what is going on!"

Percy listened to the distant shouts of campers and grinned. He opened his mouth to speak, but what he actually said wasn't what he meant to say.

"Chiron…Truth or Dare?"

**Lolz :D**

**Review please :)**

**Next up, "Perfection."**


	6. Perfection

**In which perfect people are simply to perfect to be in this world.**

**zynaofthenight doesn't own PJO…but Rick Riordan does…**

Perfection

The camp was in chaos.

Somehow, even though it was nearly impossible, a random pack of hellhounds magically transported themselves past the border of Camp Half-Blood and started attacking everyone in sight.

Needless to say, that didn't go so well with the campers.

Percy wiped the sweat from his brow and continued fighting a hellhound. "We…need…help…" he gasped. Suddenly, he fell over, his arm bleeding, even though Percy had bathed in the River Styx and was now invulnerable.

People were getting wounded everywhere, and it looked like a whole generation of demigods were about to get wiped out.

Then, a sparkling glitter of light awashed the heavens, and a beautiful girl appeared from the clouds. Sweeping her arm gracefully, she uttered a command in a silvery, melodic voice, and all the hellhounds disappeared, the cabins were re-built, and all the campers were healed again.

"Wow…" Percy said, gazing up at the girl. "She looks…so goddess-like…"

The girl alighted the ground, a calm, peaceful expression on her porcelain face. "I am Celeste," she said angelically.

Chiron trotted up to her, bowing his head. "Celeste," he asked. "Are you a half-blood?"

The girl looked perplexed, though the puzzled expression on her face only made her more beautiful than ever. "I…I really don't know," she murmured sadly, and all the campers sighed to hear of such a deep tragedy.

Nico stared at the girl. "She must be the perfect one for me!" he gasped, even though it wasn't very probable that Nico would fall in love with anyone.

Percy pushed Nico aside, and gazed longingly at the new girl. "No!" he declared. "She's perfect for _me_."

Somehow, Annabeth wasn't offended by that, even though she should be.

Suddenly, a multitude of signs appeared above the girl, shining with a strong, beaming light.

Chiron read the signs out loud, a look of wonder growing on his face with each godly parent.

"Zeus…Poseidon…Hades…Athena…Aphrodite…Artemis…Dionysus…Hestia…Hermes…Apollo…Hera…Ares…Hephastaus…Demeter…Celeste, my child, you are a child of all the Olympians! You are a goddess!"

A gasp of surprise and pleasure came over the campers.

For some reason, it was suddenly possible for fourteen gods and goddesses to somehow have one child with all their genes…a rather disturbing thought that does not need to be extended upon.

"Oh!" said Celeste, looking surprised. "I'm so honored!"

"Celeste is a name of the heavenly," said Chiron solemnly, "and you, indeed, are heavenly. Arise, Celeste, goddess of the heavens!"

The campers all cheered.

Celeste started crying, delicate tears of silver running down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" the crowd gasped.

She cried on, in the most perfect way ever. "My gods…if I'm a goddess, then I cannot be at this wonderful camp and meet all these wonderful demigods! No!"

She waved her hand dramatically, showing her anguish and distress at this. The crowd was torn too, as they realized the dark meaning of not having such a lovely goddess with them.

"What is this?" Mr. D had come out, and was now standing there, staring at Celeste.

"Oh, Dionysus!" said Celeste in an airy voice. "I have finally met you! What a great chance!"

Dionysus's jaw dropped. "Whoa. Daughter."

"Oh, Dionysus, father!" cried Celeste. "I want to be here at Camp Half-Blood!"

Mr. D looked vaguely uncomfortable as he shook his head no. "Sorry, Celeste, but you're a goddess. Not a demigod."

The whispering amongst the campers grew. _He called her by her real name. Oh my gods. That's amazing._

Celeste sobbed even harder, and everyone grew sad along with her. "Oh! But I want to!"

Dionysus cleared his throat. "There is a way, I guess."

She brightened up immediately and dried her tears. "Really? Tell me! Please!"

Her voice carried out into the air, light, melodic, and like silvery bells in the breeze.

Dionysus nodded. "Yes. A way. I can get the Olympians to turn you mortal and then you shall be a demigod."

"Oh!" she laughed. "I want that! Please!"

Mr. D shrugged. "Very well, then. Celeste, please follow me."

He inserted his key card into the air, and he and Celeste disappeared, transporting to Olympus.

"Dionysus!" boomed Zeus. "Who is this?

Celeste looked up at the king of the skies with great respect. "I am Celeste, a daughter of you and all the Olympians, Lord Zeus. I would like you to grant me permission to be a demigod at Camp Half-Blood."

Zeus frowned. "But you, dear Celeste, are too beautiful to be a simple demigod. You should remain a goddess."

She started crying again, tears of misery running down her cheeks like waterfalls. "B…But…" she gasped, "I want to! I…I'll be h…happy…"

Zeus gave in. "Fine," he said. "Very well. Celeste, would you like to become a half-blood?"

"Yes, lord!"

"Then with my powers as the king of the gods, I grant you mortality."

As soon as Zeus finished saying those words, Celeste began to glow golden, as her immortality was disappearing and she became a demigod.

She opened her eyes, and laughed, an extremely pleasant sound. "Oh! I must thank you, lord Zeus! Thank you all!"

She laughed again, pleasantly, and Dionysus came to her side. "We need to go back to camp now, Celeste," he said respectfully.

Zeus widened his eyes. This daughter must be amazing, to gain so much reverence, he thought. He decided that she should have a lot of good fortune.

"Come along, Celeste," said Dionysus, and with that, the two were back at camp.

The campers rushed around the new demigod, asking her how she was.

"Fine!" she exclaimed, beaming at everyone. "It's so cool. It's awesome—"

She fell to the ground, gasping in pain.

"Oh! Celeste!" screamed the crowd. A few boys swooned to see such a beautiful girl hurt.

"I…can't…it's…burning…" she choked out. There was a flash, and she spontaneously combusted.

"Now how did that happen?" asked Dionysus, puzzled.

Chiron shrugged. "Oh, she was too amazing. See, Celeste was so magical that she wouldn't be able to retain all her power in human form. She's too powerful. Therefore, the only way for her to have stayed alive was to be a goddess. Unfortunately, that didn't really happen, if you see what I mean."

Mr. D nodded. "Ah well."

The memories of everyone were already being erased from the force of Celeste's extinguishing. Slowly, campers began to forget her.

"Hey, Dionysus," said Chiron. "Wasn't there a camper over here? What was her name? Uh…Celeste?"

"Yeah," said Mr. D. "Um…Cherry. Yeah, she was um…"

"Wait a minute," said Chiron. "Who's Celeste?"

**Reviews please :D Please? Please. Please. Um…yeah. Please :D**

**Next up, "High School."**


	7. High School

**[A/N]: **OMG. This story was nominated for the Veritas Award for Most Humorous (.com). The Veritas are an…erm…*scratches head* How to explain this? Eh, a wonderful website that holds judging for fanfics that are nominated because someone thinks it is a good fic in "the sad, sad state of the _Percy Jackson and the Olympians _fandom on ." Yeah, basically. :D Check it out!

This author is now happily screaming her head off like an obsessed fangirl (not that she isn't one) because of that, and also because of the review and fave she got from the Great Theia 47. XD

Oh, and guess what! Apparently, people like this story a lot, because Lily of the Chosen posted this story on Choices of a Demigod (.com) for, as it's put, one of "the best _Percy Jackson and the Olympians _fanfictions out there, worthy of awards etc etc." Ahaha, I feel so special now :D

On another note, I'm running out of ideas here, for the parodies. I'll have to think up of something for Gary-Stus and stuff, but if anyone wants to give me some ideas…Thanks mucho.

High School

Percy slammed his locker shut, scowling as he heard most of his stuff in there fall. "Dang."

Goode High School was filled with hundreds of people in the morning, everyone rushing, pushing, and shoving around to get to their classes.

Why all the hurry; Percy didn't know. After all, the bell didn't ring until seven am, and the time was now—_di immortals._

Percy hurried down the hallway, avoiding as many people as possible. He had exactly one minute and six seconds to get to the other side of the school and start class. What fun.

_Drring!_

Percy facepalmed, and began to run. He frantically stepped into the classroom just as the bell stopped ringing.

"Late, as always," grouched his science teacher. "Jackson, sit down."

Percy sat down slowly in his seat, panting for breath. The girl next to him turned in surprise.

"Percy?"

Percy did a double-take. "R-Rachel! I thought you were at Clarion's! You _used_ to be here at Goode."

She shook her head. "Ah, psh. I didn't want to go. So I came back here instead. For you."

Percy's cheeks reddened. "Uh…um…okay…"

"Jackson!" barked the teacher. "Pay attention!"

Percy turned to face the front, though his mind was racing with a million thoughts a second. Why was Rachel here? And why did she say 'for you?'

He kept on wondering that for the next few periods, before the lunch bell finally rang.

Percy walked into the cafeteria, wondering what he would eat for lunch.

"Hey, Percy!"

He turned. Rachel was there beside him, grinning.

Percy felt like a slow, dumb cow. "Um…oh…hi…"

Something slammed into him and he almost fell over. "What…?"

An angry Annabeth appeared, whipping off the blue Yankees hat she had been wearing. "Percy, what are you doing?"

Percy stared. "Um…Annabeth…what are you doing at my school?"

"That doesn't matter," she growled. "What Are. You. Doing?"

"Um…getting a lunch to eat…I'm hungry…"

"No!" yelled Annabeth, causing several people to stare at them. "With Dare!"

Percy looked next to him, guiltily, but Rachel was nowhere to be found. "Hey! Where did she go?"

Annabeth gave him a glare. "We need to talk. Come on."

"But I want my lunch!" Percy protested.

"No, Seaweed Brain. Get over here."

Percy shrugged, then followed Annabeth to somewhere he had never seen before.

"Thalia!" called Annabeth. In a second, Thalia, Nico, and Grover all appeared.

Percy blinked. "Whoa. Where did you guys come from? I mean, uh, I never knew you all went to my school."

"We do now," growled Annabeth. "Because we're checking to see that you don't talk too much with Dare."

"But she's the _Oracle!_" Percy said. "She can't like any boys."

"Too bad."

"Oh. Uh…"

Annabeth gave him another glare, and he decided to shut up.

For the rest of the day, Percy was followed by Annabeth, who yelled at Rachel every time the redhead came near. Once in a while, when Annabeth needed to go somewhere else, like the bathroom, Thalia, Nico, or Grover would pop up instead, and follow Percy around.

Seriously, the son of Poseidon was starting to get a headache. Being stared at by your overzealous girlfriend does that to you.

When school ended, Percy found himself followed by Annabeth all the way home.

"Really, Annabeth," sighed Percy, exasperated, "I need to go home _alone_."

"All because you want to be with Rachel!" pouted Annabeth, but Percy just ignored her and walked off, leaving the daughter of Athena rather angry.

And when analytically intelligent people are angry at you, you know you're doomed.

The next day, Percy walked into his first period classroom to find Annabeth holding hands with some random guy.

"Oh, Zachariah! You're so wonderful!" Annabeth gushed.

Zachariah? What sort of name was that? Percy's eye twitched. "Erm…"

Annabeth looked up, and glanced at Percy. "Oh hi, Seaweed Brain," she said brightly. "How's your day?"

"…"

Annabeth smiled happily. "Guess what! Zachariah and I are going to be married!"

Zachariah looked disgusted, and really confused.

Percy froze in his tracks and stared at Annabeth, and she grinned triumphantly. However, that vanished off her face once Percy opened his mouth and said—

"Annabeth…sixteen year olds don't marry in the twenty-first century…"

Now her genius plan was ruined and Annabeth was _very _angry.

"I hate you!" she screamed, and ran out of the classroom sobbing, leaving a very confused Percy and Zachariah behind.

"So…um…" said Percy. "Wait. You're name is Zachariah?"

The other boy stared at him. "No. It's actually Joshua."

"Ah. I see."

Awkward silence.

The bell rang for first period, and Zachariah/Joshua ran off, leaving Percy standing in the middle of the classroom.

"Percy!"

Percy turned to see Rachel, again.

"Oh, hi Rachel…" he said miserably.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Annabeth hates me now, apparently, and—"

"Jackson! One more word from you and you're getting detention!"

Percy sighed, and turned to face the angry teacher, as the day before.

The bell rang again, signifying that first period had ended. As Percy walked out the door, he caught a glimpse of a certain blonde-haired, gray-eyed girl with owl earrings.

That certain blonde-haired, gray-eyed girl with owl earrings was also staring at him and glaring at Rachel.

Percy sighed, yet again.

This was going to be a _long_ day.

**[A/N]: **Next up, "Daughter of Hades!"

Now, I'd really appreciate it if you all gave me some ideas :D

I also posted a new story, "The Anonymous: Wings of Dark Victory." If you'd all kindly go and check it out…*winks*


	8. Daughter of Hades

**[A/N]: **You can all kill me now for not updating in so long. I'm truly sorry.

Anywho.

Waw. Zat waz a lota reviews…o.O

*still stares at screen in shock*

Thx ta you all :D

Ah, and keep on suggesting the ideas plz :D Thanks to all you who gave me an idea…it helped a lot :)

Gratz to **monamie123 **who posted this on her PJO fanpage on facebook, "Rick Riordan is a Genius." I'd give you all a link, but I don't have a facebook myself…which could be a problem. But check it out, and tell me about it :D

Ah. Oh. Yeah. November's NaNoWriMo! I'm _attempting_ (note the word choice) to write something…on philosophy, mythology, and the true origin of the universe. This is going to take some time…

Don't ask.

Eh, this chapter is so random. And depressing. Warning in advance. I was writing this while studying for a Chinese final, so it's kinda weird.

Daughter of Hades

I'm Raven Lin. Before _he _came, before I found out something that changed _everything _in my life, I was just an unknown goth girl in high school, ignored by most.

ADHD, dyslexic, with all the teachers hating you—how much worse could my life be? My parents died when I was young, my foster parents are extremely mean…I tell you, my life sucks. Badly.

So that's why I'm all depressed, I guess. Who wouldn't, if they're life was as bad as mine?

But you should see that wallowing-in-self-pity Penelope. She's _always_ whining about how her life sucks. Huh, like it could be as bad as mine. Seriously? She's got two parents. She's got money. She doesn't have to be picked on by all the teachers.

And so that dark, fateful day—well, it's always dark. But you get what I mean. On that dark fateful day, when I was standing in a shadowy corner like usual, ignored by all others, I saw a goth boy like me in the crowd.

Now, there are plenty of goth people in my school. It's pretty common. But I had never seen this boy before. As I stared at him, his eyes turned to mine, and those deep black irises looked into my own, and from that instant, I felt that we were somehow…connected.

At once, he turned away, but when he thought I wasn't looking, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, that he had looked back at me.

Who was he?

At lunch, as I was sitting, alone, at my lunch table, the same boy as from before suddenly appeared next to me. "Hi."

"Uh…hi…" I stammered, totally surprised. "Who are you?"

"Nico di Angelo," he said, offering his hand so I could shake it. "What's your name?"

"Raven Lin," I replied, taking the hand. "Why are you here? I've never seen you before."

He smiled, and I felt that connection thing go through us again. "I came here to—"

He never got to finish his sentence, as suddenly, a monstrous creature lunged at us.

Of course, I didn't scream. I was much too calm and depressed to scream. Instead, I suddenly remembered something from the depths of my lonely, wandering, dark dreams, and I reached my hand out. Suddenly, a black sword shimmered into my hand, and with one slice, I killed the creature.

Nico looked at me in shock. "How…how…? That's Stygian Iron! Unless…" His face brightened up, ever so slightly. "Raven, I think you're my sister. Daughter of Hades."

At once, a deluge of memories over flooded me, and I almost cried with happiness. I didn't though. I was much too calm and depressed to feel that happy.

"I _am_ daughter of Hades," I stated. "I knew that before! I was a daughter of Hades in World War Two, and then my memory got erased. I was protected in the Lotus Casino until now."

He peered at me, then nodded. "I think I've seen you somewhere in the hotel. Here. You should come to camp."

He led me outside the school, where he took my hand. "Relax," he instructed. "I'm going to shadow travel."

"You don't need to do that," I told him. "I can shadow travel."

"Oh." He sounded a bit guilty, and let go of my hand. At once, we both stepped into the shadows, and disappeared.

"Chiron!" shouted Nico as we appeared on the hill. "This is my new sister!"

The centaur galloped up to us, amazement on his face. "Daughter of Hades?"

"Yes sir," I replied. "I am Raven Lin, daughter of Hades."

Chiron looked at me strangely. "Raven, why do you look so depressed?"

"Because I'm goth!" I proclaimed with a flourish. "I am a depressed person. I have the worst history ever! Do you truly, really think that I can be happy when all my life I have been mistreated, forgotten, starved, beaten, left alone, outcast, ignored, underestimated, forlorn, cursed, abandoned, almost killed, hidden, mocked, rejected, spurned, lost, exiled, underrated…Do you really think I should be happy?"

Chiron stood staring at me for a few moments. "That was an impressive list of vocabulary," he finally said. "You listed nineteen reasons. Now…if you had just listed another reason, that would make twenty."

Was he…making fun of me? I gritted my teeth, and silently fumed. Children of Hades do not let go of their grudges easily, and was no exception. However, I was much more clever than any other child of Hades, and was not going to act rashly. Why would I? I was too calm and depressed.

Chiron would pay for insulting me. He would. But I would be sneaky, I would be careful; I would show everyone that a daughter of Hades can be smart.

Because…I was very calm and depressed.

"Raven," said Nico, tugging at my arm. "Come and see the Hades Cabin."

I followed him to an awesome, depressed looking cabin. "Cool."

"Yeah," he replied. "Why don't you go and unpack and all that stuff?" He left, and I leaned against the cabin wall, cold fury radiating off of me.

Chiron would pay for insulting me. He would!

First, I had to make a plan. A devious plan that would be virtually undetectable. I stood there, immersed in my thoughts. I would go behind Chiron, then use my sword to destroy him. I had to be careful though…he might notice. I would kill him, then hide. No one would suspect me. I could blame it on a flower, since flowers were very strange and cunning in nature. All cheerful things were.

Then, I would have revenge! But I had to be smart. I would not be rash. I would not do anything wrong.

Why? Because… I was very calm and depressed.

A random camper came by, staring at me. "Who are you?"

"I am Raven Lin," I stated proudly. "Daughter of Hades."

The camper backed away slowly. "Uh…okay…"

Suddenly, I was furious. No one liked me! They all insulted me!

No. I must not take revenge. I was too calm and depressed to do that. I would—

The temptation was too great, like how one cannot resist chocolate. And chocolate is very good. With a scream, I lunged at the camper in fury, but before I even go close, I got blasted to bits by Apollo.

Why? Because the camper was a son of Apollo…and…I was too calm and depressed to live.

How sad.

**[A/N]: **Wow. That was…depressing o.O

I was on a sugar high before I typed this, and then after I finished writing this…I got…calm and depressed.

Haha, "I was too calm and depressed." That makes me laugh so much for some weird reason. o.O

Anywho…review please :) And more ideas are needed!

Next up, "Karaoke."

By the way. I wonder if we can get to a hundred reviews with this chapter. Only twelve reviews to go, people!


	9. Karaoke

**[A/N]: **Hey, so I'm doing NaNoWriMo…(and kinda failing). My username's _Misty Moon_, so if you're doing NaNo, then you can add me to your buddy list! Yay! Just tell me your username in a review or PM so I can add you too ^.^

I don't own Justin Bieber (that would be really scary), Owl City, and Vanilla Twilight. Oh, haha. "Bieber" isn't a word according to Microsoft Word 2007. Take that, Bieber fanatics!

Here comes the horrible singing:

Karaoke

Percy lounged on the couch, bored out of his wits. It was two in the morning, yet he couldn't sleep for some strange reason.

Next to him, Annabeth gazed into the distance blankly, completely bored too. "Percy?" she murmured.

"Yeah?" The son of Poseidon turned his head around with great effort and looked at his girlfriend.

"Percy, I'm bored. And I can't sleep. So…what do you want to do?"

"Uh…" Percy racked his brain for answers. Suddenly, a brilliant idea hit him. "Oh! Let's have a karaoke par-tay!"

"A par-tay?" Annabeth sat up straight, eyes glistening in anticipation. "Karaoke? We're on it! Who should we call?"

"Everybody," said Percy, getting up from the couch. "I'll go and hook up the karaoke machine and get some food."

He nodded to Annabeth, and set off in his car, driving to the supermarket. When he got there, the store was closed.

"Huh." Percy scratched his head, confused, until he saw the time. "Oh…I guess the supermarket isn't open at two in the morning. Now how am I going to get food?"

He thought a bit more, until another brilliant idea hit him. (I swear, Percy seems to get brilliant ideas very often in these early hours of the morning!) "I know! I'll just raid the shop!"

So, half an hour later, the Seaweed Brain was carrying five bags stuffed with par-tay food and drove home, ignoring the alarms that were going off in the store. Very smart of him, as everyone knows.

"Annabeth!" he cried when he got in. "I got some food!"

Annabeth squealed and hugged him. "I called Thalia, Nico, Clarisse, Grover, Juniper, Chris, and…" she grinned triumphantly, "APOLLO!"

Percy stared at her. "Uh…Apollo?"

She pouted. "He _is_ the god of music, isn't he?"

"Oh. Yeah. Right. I remember now."

Percy shrugged, then went off to drop the food off in the kitchen and hook up the machine. Pretty soon, everyone else arrived, and a full scale party began.

"MACKERALS ARE AWESOME!" yelled Percy as he jumped around the room, eating chili granola bars. Annabeth stopped by, and looked at her boyfriend. "Percy, what are you eating? Chili granola bars? What the Hades is _that_?"

"Granola bars made out of chili," was the prompt reply.

"Uh…isn't that spicy?"

Percy frowned. "Now that you mention it…yes." He fanned his mouth and ran off to find some water. Annabeth shrugged, and kept on walking around.

"Hey everyone! Let's start singing some karaoke!" Apollo was waving the mike around, calling for everyone to come. All the people in the party gathered around, and the songs started.

"Ahem," said Apollo. "I shall now sing a song that's very familiar to all of you. It's called _Baby_, by—"

"JUSTINA BIEBER!"

Percy had returned from his trip for water and was now prancing up and down in front of Apollo. The sun god frowned. "Justin_a_ Bieber? His name is _Justin_ Bieber."

"Oh…" Percy said, realization dawning on his face. "So he's not a girl…oops."

Apollo looked rather enraged, but was pulled back by Annabeth, who told him to start singing already.

"Very well," grumbled Apollo. "Here goes—"

"BABY, BABY, BABY, OOOOOOH BABY, BABY, BABY—"

Annabeth clamped her hand over Percy's mouth and hissed at her boyfriend, "Idiot Seaweed Brain! What have you been taking? Are you high or something?"

Percy skittered around the room, a dazed and rather stupid look on his face. "Hi, Annabeth. How are you doing? I'm doing fine…I like pink unicorns you know…"

Annabeth facepalmed and left Percy alone. "Here…uh, Grover. You and Juniper sing."

Grover took the mike and started singing some Hilary Duff song. Annabeth shook her head and passed the mike to Thalia and Nico. That resulted in a depressed song. So the mike was passed to Clarisse and Chris. However, Clarisse and Chris weren't too happy, and the mike was almost scarred for life as the two of them tried to punch Percy senseless.

"STOP IT!" screamed Annabeth after a few minutes of trying to get Clarisse to stop beating Percy up. The room fell silent, and everyone stared at her.

"Here," said Annabeth. "Let's have Percy and I sing a song."

She took the mike and shoved it towards Percy. Selecting a random song, she took a deep breath, and started singing.

_The stars lean down to kiss you  
And I lie awake and miss you  
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly  
But I'll miss your arms around me  
I'd send a postcard to you, dear  
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue  
But it's not the same without you  
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad  
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad  
'Cause the spaces between my fingers  
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways  
Though I haven't slept in two days  
'Cause cold nostalgia  
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight  
I'll sit on the front porch all night  
Waist-deep in thought because  
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink  
I'll think of you tonight  
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter  
And heavy wings grow lighter  
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew  
But I swear I won't forget you  
Oh, if my voice could reach  
Back through the past  
I'd whisper in your ear  
Oh darling, I wish you were here

At the end of the song, everyone started swooning and simpering, "Oh, Annabeth, that was so sweet! It totally matched you and Percy! Aww…"

Well, that is, everyone but Percy. The son of Poseidon had been staring in horror at Annabeth the whole entire time she was singing. Finally, when she was done, he screamed and ran away, shouting "NUUUUUU‼‼ OWL CITY IS HAUNTING MY DRREEEEAAAMS‼! HEEELP!"

Annabeth shrugged. In front of her, Percy slammed into the door and fell down, in his haste to get away. The par-tay had started in full force again, and screaming was going around quite a lot.

A loud _bang_ on the door sounded, and everyone fell quite. Annabeth opened the door to find the elderly neighbor who lived next to them.

"Youngsters!" barked the old lady. "What have you been doing! It's three in the morning and I need my sleep!" She peered short-sightedly into the house. "Have you been _partying_ in here?"

"The correct word is _par-tay_," said Percy, bobbing his head up and down. "Nice 'ta meet ya!"

Annabeth pushed his head down, and faced her cranky, annoyed neighbor. "Nothing's happened," she assured sweetly.

The old lady gave her an incredulous look. "_Nothing _has happened? Then tell me, young lady, what are you doing?"

Annabeth grinned broadly. "You must have figured out from our very quiet activity that we are just watching a pleasant movie and falling asleep."

The old lady fainted.

**[A/N]: **And Percy went hyper again…joy, oh joy. I feel tired. I feel lazy. I'm sleep deprived, yet again. I feel like I should be studying for the final I have tomorrow, not typing this up.

Eh, review por favor. Gratz.

Next up, "Prophecy."


	10. Prophecy Part I

**[A/N]: **Prophecy! In which…er…you'll see :P Inspired by Leminyx.

And thanks for the numerous reviews everyone! I love you all :)

Now…if I could get you guys as enthusiastic in reviewing my other stories as you are to this story, that would be awesome… :D

This is split in two parts, because I was doing one idea when it split off and became random. So I'm splitting this into two chapters.

Enjoy the first part:

Prophecy, Part I

It was a dark and stormy night—

Wait. No. That's the wrong beginning. Okay, okay. Start over.

It was a thunderous, terrifying dark night, and lightning illuminated the heavens as a girl staggered over the boundary of Camp Half-Blood. Her visage, even from far away, was perfect and beautiful, and she was barely out of breath.

No one was there. No one was in sight to help her. She fell to her knees, ducking the swipe the huge monster behind her gave.

"Help!" she called out. "Someone! Anyone!"

But there was no one there, no one in this lonely desolate night who would be wandering out of their cabins, into the storm to help her.

The monster struck again, and she rolled to the side to avoid being hit. However, one of the claws of the beast scraped her hand slightly, and she twisted in pain. "My nail!"

Her despairing cry reached out to the heavens and Zeus was touched to the bottom of his heart. He sighed from where he was sitting on his throne in Olympus, tears streaming down his face.

"Such a tragedy!" he cried out. "She…she broke her nail! What atrocity! How dare the Fates allow this to happen!"

He paused, thinking hard. "I must send someone to save her," he muttered finally, the gears in his head working furiously to think of an ingenious plan worthy of Athena. "I know! I will send Thalia!"

There was a flash of lightning and Zeus landed in the middle of the Hunters' camp. Lady Artemis, needless to say, was not very happy about this.

"Father, what are you doing?"

"I must see my daughter! It is absolutely urgent! It is a matter of life and death!"

"Gods don't die," she pointed out.

"No, not for me! For this half-blood! This is extremely important!"

The goddess shrugged. "Okay…Wait here, father." She disappeared off into the distance, and Zeus slumped back, his heartbeat racing as he thought of the poor, injured half-blood at Camp.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity (and he knew what _that_ felt like), Thalia appeared, yawning. "Hey Dad, what are you doing here? It's three in the morning."

"This is extremely urgent," he said seriously and in a confidential low tone. Thalia leaned forward to hear better, her expression suddenly grave.

"Yes, father?"

"There's a half-blood at Camp, right outside the border, who's severely injured."

The lieutenant blinked. "Uh…Dad…you realize I'm in Montana right now? New York is like…a lot more than halfway across the country…Why didn't you ask one of the campers at Camp?"

Oh. Zeus frowned. He knew he had missed something important. "Very well then," he said importantly. "I shall go ask one of those campers."

"Wait…Dad…how severely is she injured?"

"Very. She's in critical condition."

"Describe the injuries to me."

"She broke her nail."

Silence followed. Zeus found himself being stared at by an extremely bemused Thalia Grace. He glared at her. "What?"

"Is that all?"

"Yes, of course!" he replied indignantly. "The last time _I _broke a nail, I was hospitalized for a month! It was extremely critical! This is serious! A grave injury!"

"…"

"What!"

"N-Nothing, D-Dad," she spluttered out. "I-I think I n-need to go b-back to sleep. I-I'm really tired…" She turned away, her shoulders shaking.

Zeus shrugged, then reverted back to his immortal form and went off to Camp Half-Blood. His daughter was probably overly shocked and grieved at the gory details of the injury, he decided. She was probably shaking with fear. After all, a broken nail was pretty gruesome.

He shuddered himself. This was getting extremely frightening. The last time he had felt this scared, it was during the first titan war when he was facing Kronos. A broken nail was probably as horrible of an enemy as Kronos was.

He was at the camp now. The girl was still sprawled—no, that was too much of an ugly word. She was too elegant to be sprawled out. She was drifting on the dirt.

No, that wasn't right either. She was…uh…lying on the ground in a graceful way. Yes, that was it. He could see now that she was shivering, and her right hand—

It was so gruesome he had to turn away, shaking. Alas! The cursed broken nail!

She stirred, and lifted her head. "Where am I?"

"You're at Camp Half-Blood," he told her. "I am Zeus, king of the gods." Lightning flashed as he spoke, illuminating his mighty figure.

The girl gaped at him, but at once, she threw a despairing wail. "The pain, the pain!"

"What is it?"

She flung her right arm out, and screamed. "My nail!" Then, she fainted.

Ouch. This could get a bit complicated. Suddenly, Zeus had a brilliant idea. Scooping the girl up, he ran into camp to the Big House.

"Injured camper!" he roared. "Let her in!"

He didn't realize that at three in the morning, no one was there to stop him anyway…even if he wasn't a god.

Chiron clopped out, yawning furiously, then stopping when he saw Zeus. "Lord Z-Zeus! What brings you here!"

"She is grievously injured," Zeus said, thrusting the girl into Chiron's unsuspecting arms. "Please, heal her quickly!"

"What is her injury?"

"She broke her nail!"

No response. Then, "Uh, Zeus, don't worry, she'll be in good care…here, why don't you go back to Olympus? Don't worry, I'll heal her completely. Centaur's honor."

Zeus went back, relieved. It was probably a very good thing he did not hear Chiron mutter under his breath, "and take your medications, please, before you come to Camp the next time."

Chiron sighed, and looked at the unconscious girl. "All that trouble for a broken nail. Really? That must be the strangest thing I've seen in a thousand years…"

He was interrupted by the clash of a something falling against something else. He turned around to see a confused looking Rachel Elizabeth Dare wandering about the place.

"Uh…Rachel? What are you doing?"

She stared at him, and green mist billowed out. Chiron backed away, waiting for the prophecy.

_Girl of the broken nail,_

_Shall set out to send mail__—_

_Saving something important to us all…_

_But beware…do not fall…_

She blinked. "What did I just say?"

Chiron waved her off. "Nothing important, really, my dear. Why don't you get Percy, Annabeth, and Nico here tomorrow morning? Thanks."

She nodded, and drifted off somewhere. Chiron turned to the newcomer again, and facepalmed.

"What the Hades was that prophecy? Lamest one I've ever heard."

The girl stirred, and opened her eyes. They were a creepy kaleidoscope of colors which made Chiron extremely dizzy, but he smiled and comforted the girl. "Hello, I am Chiron."

The girl gasped. "Oh! Thank you, my savior! Have you—" She paused, a pained expression coming over her face.

"What is it, my child?"

"My nail! It hasn't been healed!"

She fainted again. Chiron facepalmed again.

And this was the girl who was the subject to a prophecy that sounded kind of important…ish. Chiron considered joining the dark side. One, because they had cookies, and two, because the people in the dark side actually have surviving skills and did not faint at broken nails.

It was only chipped slightly! Gods!

**[A/N]: **Yeah…see why I had gone off on a tangent? The next chapter will continue this story. Next up, "Prophecy, Part II"

This was so very strange. But I thought it was…amusing…ish. Review please :)

And I'm running out of ideas again. I really need some, por favor. Gratz :D

AND NOW FOR THE AUTHOR'S RANT BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE IT. You can skip this.

()-.-() - bad picture of a listening to music face. Eheehee, I'm listnin' ta random music…because I have to sing them in front of my English/History class this week. o.O

And one of the songs is "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift. O.O WHO THE HADES IN MY GROUP DECIDED WE HAVE TO SING THIS SONG? BECAUSE I DIDN'T.

Because now…I'm going around humming "she wears short skirts, and I wear t-shirts…" *facepalms* Wow…I never knew I'd be listening to Taylor Swift one day. At least it's not Justin Bieber. *facepalms again*

Hmm…song list currently. Let's see. I get to sing "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars, -the Taylor Swift song-, "OMG" by Usher (Now who came up with _that_?), "Holding Out for a Hero" (Frou Frou version, cuz it's just so much epicer :P), and finally, "Apologize" by One Republic, which is actually a pretty nice song :)

Of course, I didn't choose these songs. I didn't know they existed until my group sent me this random sheet of paper with all the songs on them, which _they_ chose. And that was yesterday.

*blinks* *sighs* Now I need to write more for NaNoWriMo. I'm at 32K words now! :) Trying to cram 3000 words in today for a final of 35000 words. Maybe, if I'm not so lazy, I write some more and get 3600 words. Yeah…That would be cool :D

END RANT


	11. Prophecy Part II

**[A/N]: **So gladdened by all your enthusiastic and lovely reviews :D

You guys made me so much happier, because I was feeling rather annoyed, for no apparent reason whatsoever. I woke up today, and just started hating the whole entire world. I'm so emo…

Ah, well. Here's to some more Prophecy :)

Oh, and by the way, I wrote a oneshot, "Dark Moon." If you haven't reviewed yet, if you would please R&R it, ta. It's an attempt at twisting the clichéd Daughter of Artemis into something more original. Warning in advance: it's rather dark and depressing, with murder and slight bit of suicide. Yep. That's how emo I'm being right now. Basically, it's narrated from a Hunter's point of view…NOT the daughter of Artemis's view. It's rather strange…o.O

Anywho…

Prophecy, Part II

The next morning, Chiron woke up, yawning. He was still happily drifting in his pony fantasies when he heard a knock on his door. A second later, a girl slipped in, looking extremely frightened.

What the Hades was she doing here? And who was she, anyways?

Then, he remembered. Oh. Gods. He cleared his throat, glancing around nervously. "Er…good morning, my dear. How's your chipped nail?"

"Chipped?" The girl stepped back, aghast at his word choice. "Chipped? It was a broken, and the injury is so great, that I must be hospitalized!"

He twitched. "Uh…yes, devastating. Very. Now, uh, my dear, if you could get downstairs…I need to take the curlers out of my tail…"

She blinked those huge eyes of her, then slipped out of the door. Chiron sighed, then put his head between his hands. This was going to be hard.

And that was before he remembered that there was a _prophecy_ about the girl. Sweet Zeus…

And about Zeus. Chiron was a bit mystified by the god's behavior…the girl surely wasn't his daughter, right? If she was, Chiron was going to join the dark side for sure. Again, they had cookies, and he enjoyed eating delicious cookies.

He cleared his throat loudly, then clopped out of the door, to the porch of the Big House. Mr. D was sitting by the table, looking up as Chiron came in.

"Someone tell me why there's a creepy little brat crawling about this place," he drawled. "She was rather impudent, too. I asked her why she was holding her hand in such an injured way, and she was rather offended. Her hand looked fine to me."

Chiron could tell the wine god was in quite a bad mood. His news wasn't going to help, either. "Mr. D, she's the subject of a prophecy too."

"WHAT?" The god jumped up, enraged, his soda spilling across the table. With an impatient wave of his hand, the carbonated water cleared up—but then, the god turned to face Chiron. The centaur gulped. Being turned into a dolphin wasn't exactly on his "Top Ten Things to Do" list.

Mr. D opened his mouth to say something, but he finally just turned and went, slamming the door behind him. Chiron dropped into his usual seat, sighing. This was going to be a rather long day.

Then, the door was flung open, and a panting Rachel Elizabeth Dare appeared, followed by Percy, Annabeth, and Nico. "You called for us, Chiron?"

Right. The quest. "Uh, yes. Now, let me get her…"

He stopped. Where was that—uh, whatever her name was—girl?

His dilemma was solved when the said girl popped up suddenly, looking about with those large, creepy eyes of hers. "Oh hello."

"Oh, good," Chiron muttered, relieved that he didn't have to walk about trying to look for her. "Uh…what's your name?"

"…Ingram…"

"Oh." He had expected her name to be some strange hybrid combination of Greek, Latin, English, and Romanian, but okay…

"So." He cleared his throat, looking at the teenagers gathered about the table. Rachel was drifting off into the distance, her green eyes unfocused and blank. Percy was staring at Annabeth. Annabeth, unaware of Percy's gaze, was looking attentively at Chiron. Nico was slumped in his chair, looking bored to death. No pun intended.

And Ingram…er…well, she had taken out a mirror and was now examining her face in it, along with her _chipped _nail. "Chiron," she announced rather loudly, "I need a medic. Right now. My manicure has been ruined with this broken nail, and I cannot stand it."

Chiron guessed that she was a daughter of Aphrodite. Obviously—who else would be this picky?

Sure enough, a pink flare seemed to go around the girl, and she was immediately covered in makeup, some sort of fancy dress—stuff like that, which made her look even more creepy than usual. Sort of like an overgrown pink snake with makeup.

Oh wait—that was an insult to snakes. Never mind.

He cleared his throat again. "Well, then, daughter of Aphrodite. I have a prophecy for all of you."

_Girl of the broken nail,_

_Shall set out to send mail__—_

_Saving something important to us all…_

_But beware…do not fall…_

"What do you all think?"

Annabeth sat back, her eyebrows raised in amusement. "Are you sure that's a prophecy, Chiron? I mean, are you sure it's not something from your…er…centaur dreams?"

"Worst prophecy I've ever heard ever," Nico muttered. "What the…?" His gaze turned accusingly to Rachel.

The Oracle looked at all of them. "Why is everyone staring at me?"

"You're the one who made the prophecy," Percy offered helpfully. Or not…as a certain son of Poseidon cowered behind a chair a few seconds later as a rather annoyed Oracle of Delphi glared at him.

"Thank you very much," she hissed vehemently. "I'm pretty aware of this all, Percy."

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! You don't have to give me that creepy stalker glare!"

"So," said Chiron loudly over the protests, "Who has a suggestion?"

Ingram spoke up in this soft voice (meant for being nice and happy…but all it did was make Chiron wince in horror): "Perhaps the Fates will just let everything happen accordingly. Perhaps we do not need to worry—"

There was a flash of light, and everything went white for a second. When Chiron finally restored his vision, all he saw was bright spots in the air. He shook his head again and again, until he could finally see the grinning figure that had appeared.

"Hello, Chiron."

"Mmhablagh!" was all the centaur could say, considering that there was something stuffed in his mouth. He spit it out and looked at it in disgust. "What is that?"

"It's mail for you," was the offended reply. "I didn't mean for it to get stuck in your mouth."

"Blagh!" Chiron glared at the newcomer, then sighed. "Alright, so what else do you have to say?"

Hermes grinned and pointed at Ingram. "I've got a job for yonder fair lady here."

Ingram gave him that 'fluttery eyelashes' thing that just made Chiron puke. However, when Hermes spoke again…

"Say, Ingram darlin', can you deliver some mail for me?"

Now Chiron was not expecting that.

_Girl of the broken nail,_

_Shall set out to send mail__—_

Wait a moment. Wasn't this part of the prophecy…?

Ingram squealed and went outside immediately. Annabeth sighed, then pulled Percy, Rachel, and Nico with her as she followed the other girl. Chiron waited until they had all gone (including Hermes), then sat down and took out his mail.

It was a ridiculous brochure, written in large block letters: _Are you willing to join the dark side? Come today! We have free cookies!_

Not for the first time, Chiron facepalmed. Seriously? They had the nerve to ask him to the dark side? He had been tempted, but he never, never would join them. He was the good guy, always—

Ingram ran inside, screaming happily around him…something about awesome powers or what. He blinked at her. "Uh, what is it, my child?"

"I'M A DAUGHTER OF ZEUS AND APHRODITE! YET I'M STILL A HALF-BLOOD FOR SOME RANDOM REASON! LOOKEY! I CAN BLAST STUFF WITH PINK LIGHTNING!"

Well…that was pleasant. Chiron really didn't mind, until Ingram blasted his chair apart with, sure enough, pink lightning. Joy.

Okay, Fine. Scratch it all. He was the good guy, _almost_ always. Chiron sighed, then turned the brochure over. On the backside, there was a box with the word "yes!" on it, along with "please send me an instruction manual on how to be with the dark side, and free cookies."

He checked the box. After all, cookies were nice to eat.

**[A/N]: **And of course, since I'm really out of ideas currently, this will be a small story thingymajigabob.

So...to be continued…in "Prophecy, Part III." A girl who can zap with pink lightning, a dark Chiron, and of course, lotsa cookies. Where will it go? I don't really want to know…(hey! That rhymed!)

Ah, I'm so annoyed at the world for no reason at all right now. And I'm sleep deprived. Again. :(

Anyone want to review and give me a hug? Cookies would be nice too. Oh, and a nice warm cup of hot chocolate. And perhaps…some huge chocolate muffins. Gods, I just love those muffins…

Review please, and make my day much happier :)


	12. Prophecy Part III

**[A/N]: **Thanks for all the food, everyone. You made me feel so much better :) And sorry for not updating for so long…actually right now, I have left FFnet…so _technically_ I'm not even supposed to be on here, but what the heck, who cares? So I'm updating. Yeah.

On a sad note, this story didn't win the Veritas. :( Ah well, it was nice being nominated :D

Ahem. On another random tangent, my story, "The Anonymous: Wings of Dark Victory," has been posted on Choices of a Demigod.

Yes, that's the story I've been nagging everyone to read and review. Yes, this story, _Parodies of PJO_, is on posted on the site too. _Please _go check it out and _please_ review. Thank you…

Link: www (.) demigodchoices (.) webs (.) com. It's also on my profile.

…

_Word of the day: _Pododermatitis—inflammation of skin tissue of the foot.

Prophecy, Part III

Chiron trotted to the security desk in the old, rundown building. A withered gray man sat behind the desk, scribbling something on a piece of paper.

"What do you want?" the man asked, sounding bored. Chiron handed him the brochure, wordlessly. The man looked over it for a bit, then nodded. "Would you like to see Lord Kronos?"

Chiron nodded. The man pressed a button and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Chiron waited there for a few more minutes, before a burst of bright light appeared, and the titan lord himself, in the form of Luke Castellan, appeared.

"My dear deceased father," Chiron began, "…wait. Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Do not insult me, my son! I have the right to live, according to the Constitution of the United States of America!"

Chiron raised an eyebrow at Kronos. "We're Greek. Not American."

"But we live in the United States of America, no?"

Chiron blinked. "Okay then…but my deceased-yet-now-come-back-to-life father, why are you still in the form of that son of Hermes?"

"Do not insult me again, my son! I have the right to be in this form, according to the Constitution of the United States of America!"

"Actually, nowhere in the constitution does it state that 'Kronos has the right to assume the form of Luke Castellan as his demigod host.'"

The titan lord growled, and waved his fist angrily at the centaur. "I shall blast you with lightning! I shall blast you with lightning! For your impudence is unnecessary!"

Chiron couldn't resist it. He waved, and said cheekily, "Er…note that only Zeus and his children can blast people with lightning…"

"Drat."

"So," Chiron continued, "my deceased-yet-now-come-back-to-life-in-the-form-of-Luke-Castellan-with-supposed-lightning-powers-and-many-allusions-to-the-Constitution-of-the-United-States-of-America father, I have come to join the dark side."

Kronos nodded, satisfied. "And may the force be with you."

"What?"

"You've never watched Star Wars?"

"Oh…that's what you're talking about. Um…"

Kronos sighed impatiently, and tapped his foot on the floor. "How many free cookies would you like?"

"A hundred boxes please. I get lonely in the winter, with only cookies to eat."

"Consider the deal done. Chiron, my son, welcome to the dark side."

Chiron nodded solemnly, before an idea suddenly popped into his head. "Ahaha! Do you know what I just realized?"

"No…"

"You could say, 'Luke, I am your great-grandfather.'"

"…"

Chiron shook his head in pity. "You're getting slow in your old age, father. You know, like in Star Wars! Instead of 'Luke, I am your father,' you could go say 'Luke, I am your great-grandfather!'"

"Or I could just go 'Chiron, I am your father.'"

Chiron facepalmed. "But it has to be Luke! Darth Vader had to say 'Luke, I am your father!' Not 'Chiron, I am your father!' Plus, don't you think it's weird that Luke turned into his own great-grandfather? I mean, that's so weird, don't you think—"

He dodged the blast of lightning Kronos threw at him.

…

Ingram skipped happily around the meadow, followed by three rather unhappy half-bloods.

Nico groaned, and set his sword down. "Why must we walk for this long? Why can't we just shadow travel to Aphrodite's place and deliver the letter already?"

"Because it's a _quest_," muttered Annabeth, but she looked pretty tired. Percy dragged along behind all three of them, moaning to himself as he trudged through the grass. For all his invincibility, the son of Poseidon didn't look very invincible.

Finally, after walking for some time, Nico got impatient and shadow travelled everyone to Aphrodite's place. Unfortunately, he accidently shadow travelled straight into a rosebush, so everyone had to spend half an hour getting the thorns out of their clothing.

Finally, they all got the thorns out and stood up. Percy had a pink rose stuck in his hair, and from a laughing Annabeth, Nico got the feeling he had a rose stuck in his hair too. Only Ingram was standing there with a placid expression on her face, pink lightning randomly sparking along her fingers. "What was the prophecy, again?" she asked innocently as Nico frantically patted his hair to make sure there was no roses stuck there.

_Girl of the broken nail,_

_Shall set out to send mail__—_

_Saving something important to us all…_

_But beware…do not fall…_

"So we have to not fall?" asked Ingram, twirling her hair with her pink lightning fingers. As Nico nodded, still checking to see that he didn't have a rose stuck anywhere, she squealed and jumped up and down. "Let's go deliver the letter to my mother now! Yay!" She laughed manically and ran along the place, when she tripped over a bush and fell. As horror registered itself on her face, she gasped, "oh no! I fell! It's even worse than breaking my nail!" and…after a nanosecond of agonizing pain, she died.

Percy, Annabeth, and Nico stared at the daughter of Aphrodite and Zeus. After staring at her for another few minutes, Percy shrugged, and turned to Nico. "Hey, Nico, can you shadow travel us back?"

Nico nodded and shadow travelled them all back to camp.

…

And thus ends the story of the Ingram. However, Chiron decided to stay with the dark side, and receives free cookies all the time. The end.

**[A/N]: **Wow, that was really random. I guess I got lazy :P

Merry late Christmas, everyone, and Happy New Year! :DI finally got to read _The Lost Hero_…more than two months after it came out. Yep. That's how depressingly behind I am. :( It was epic, but I'm rather disappointed. Is it just me, or was Thalia extremely OOC? And there's _no _appearances of Nico, Grover, or Tyson. _No mentions_, even, of Katie, Connor…and other random half-bloods and people. HOW FREAKING ANNOYING IS THAT? GAH!

Anywho.

Next up, "Lacey Jackson, Part I." I'm reverting to the daughter of Poseidon thing again. o.O Because I'm out of ideas.

Again.

Review please :D


	13. Lacey Jackson Part I

**[A/N]: **So, this is my lovely new idea. Mainly because my first fanfic was a sucky, horrible, clichéd, BAD story about a daughter of Poseidon who fell in love with Nico, blah, blah, blah.

And so, it comes to this little mini episode within this story, like the "Prophecy" stuff. Because I am really out of ideas. Hurry! Quickly! Someone give me ideas for a parody! Because I have reverted to the Daughter of Poseidon thing again. Sigh.

Lacey Jackson, Part I

…_in which Nico will now try to kill Percy because of Happy Meals…_

Percy Jackson was pretty sure bratty little kids couldn't be demigods. Spoiled five year olds just didn't fit the image of a group of battle-hardy, let's-go-kick-some-monster-butt, tough children of the Greek gods.

But there she was, Lacey Jackson, one Hades of an annoying girl, who just couldn't keep her mouth shut.

Percy closed his eyes and wished it was all a dream. The girl must've bewitched the camp borders, he reasoned. Made them think that she was a demigod, even though she was actually a mortal. Because there was _no way_ she could be a half-blood.

"PERCY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Percy forced his eyelids open and groaned. Standing next to him, shouting in his ear was—you guessed it— Lacey.

"I WANNA PLAY WITH A TOY! GIVE ME A HAPPY MEAL TOY!"

Percy was pretty sure that he was going deaf by now. "Sorry, Lacey," he grumbled. "I don't eat Happy Meals. Why don't you ask Nico or something? He has plenty—"

As soon as those words were out of his mouth, Percy wished desperately that he could take them back. Nico was going to kill him, invulnerability or not. Unfortunately, the girl's green eyes were already glittering with excitement…not a good sign, in case anyone was wondering.

"NICO HAS HAPPY MEALS?" she yelled into Percy's ear.

Percy backed away, rubbing his ears fiercely. "No, no! That's not what I said!"

If he could get her to believe that, then he would be safe from mutant skeletons chasing him everywhere for the rest of the week. It wouldn't be too hard, right? She was only five. She wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was not going to go and haunt Nico down right? She couldn't—

Lacey narrowed her eyes. "I don't believe you."

Percy froze. "Nico doesn't have any Happy Meals!" he lied desperately. "Why would he? Happy Meals are for little itty-bitty kids like you. Not awesome, deathlike twelve year olds. Yeah—"

"In fact," she continued brightly, ignoring everything Percy had just said, "I think I'll go find Nico and get some Happy Meal toys from him."

Helplessly, Percy watched her run off, towards a certain figure wearing black in the distance.

Nico was so going to kill him.

…

Minutes later, as Percy was slouching off, trying to avoid going anywhere the son of Hades, he ran into Annabeth.

She stopped him immediately, and looked at him, concerned. "Percy, what's wrong?"

Percy pointed mutely at the distance, towards the outline of a small girl attempting to strangle a much older and taller boy. Annabeth's jaw dropped into an _O_ and she shook her head pityingly. "Who's she after?"

"Nico…" Percy said gloomily. "Because she wanted Happy Meal toys…and I accidently let it slip that he had some."

Annabeth stared at him in disbelief. "I feel very sorry for you," she said finally. "If Nico doesn't get you first, then one of his zombies will."

"Yep," Percy agreed. "So, what do we do now?"

Annabeth opened her mouth to respond, but she was suddenly almost knocked over by a terrified Nico running for his life.

"It's her!" the boy gasped after he had apologized to Annabeth. "She's coming! We're all going to die! Help me!" The son of Hades wrung his hands frantically and tried to hide behind Percy, just as Lacey walked by.

"Hi Nico," she said in a dementedly sweet voice. "Can I have a Happy Meal toy?"

"Hey, Lacey," tried Percy. "Why don't you go to Chiron and ask him, or something? Yeah…I'm sure he'll have something for you."

The five year old pouted, and glared at Percy. "I wanna Happy Meal toy from Nico!"

Nico made a cross between a squeak and a muffled call for help. Lacey's gleaming eyes turned to him, and she giggled an abnormally high giggle, even for a little kid. "You can't hide from me, Nicky-Poo," she sing-songed.

Nico cringed, and started backing away. Percy, however, stood there, amused. "Nicky-Poo?" he asked. "Ahaha, that's such a cute nickname."

Nico looked like he wished the ground would swallow him like it did to his skeletons and enemies. "Help…" he whimpered.

Percy continued chortling until he felt beady eyes staring at him. He looked down, and Lacey was right in front of him.

"YOU LIED!" she screamed.

All over camp, campers turned to stare at Percy. For a little kid, Lacey had a pretty loud voice.

"Eh…how?" was Percy's intelligent response.

"YOU TOLD ME NICO HAD HAPPY MEALS! YOU TOLD ME HE'D GIVE ME ONE! BUT YOU LIED!"

Silence fell over the group. Nico turned to Percy, his eyes burning with hatred. "Percy? Did you really…?"

The other boy nodded slightly, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

"I trusted you!" cried Nico, taking the front of Percy's shirt and shaking the older boy back and forth violently. "I trusted you! And now…you subject me to this torture? How could you, Percy? How—"

"Boys," stated Annabeth firmly. "Why don't we have this conversation later? Right now, I suggest we all…"

She paused, and stared at Lacey. Nico stopped trying to kill Percy and followed her gaze. A disgruntled but otherwise unharmed Percy did the same a few seconds later.

Lacey's eyes were glowing bright green, and her clothes were smoking.

"You. Did. Not. Give. Me. My. Happy. Meal." she growled, causing the hair on Percy's arms to stand up.

"Eh…" mumbled Annabeth. "What I was saying…how 'bout we go now and—RUN!"

As gallons of icy water rushed after the trio, the said three took off running for their lives.

_Wait…gallons of WATER?_

Percy turned back, ignoring Annabeth's hiss of "Are you crazy?"

_Water…that's not good…_

Percy waved his hand and all the water disappeared, revealing a very angry, yet totally dry, Lacey.

_Oh no. Oh no. Please don't tell me…_

But too late. Above the bratty little girl's head shone a trident.

The sign of Poseidon.

_Oh gods…_

The last thing Percy remembered was the ground rushing up to meet him as he fainted away in sheer terror.

**[A/N]: **Ho hum.

Next up, "Lacey Jackson, Part II"

Yep. Agh, I'm running out of ideas…o.O

Review please :)


	14. Lacey Jackson Part II

**[A/N]: **Wow…I had so many suggestions and helpful hints…thank you to all! Especially to Leminyx, who gave me a HUGE number of ideas—I will definitely use them. And of course, I will use most of the ones that other people have suggested. Please note, though, that this story is rated K+. And since I don't want to move to rating higher, I'm not going to put anything that goes over the rating of K+. So some suggestions won't work…

But thanks to you all anyway :D

Lacey Jackson, Part II

…_in which Percy sings in order to get rid of his terrors…_

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Percy Jackson. He was a powerful demigod, the son of Poseidon. He was the subject of a powerful, great prophecy, and he saved the world by defeating the titans. He was amazing, he was powerful, and he even had a beautiful girlfriend, since the hero _always_ gets the girl. And so he would have gone down in history as 'Perseus Jackson, fearless savior of the Greek gods.'

_Would_ have.

Except, Percy Jackson wasn't completely fearless. There were many things in the world he was afraid of. Evil titan lords taking over the world, being blasted to bits by Zeus, things like that.

Including his newly found little five-year-old sister.

_What? _you say. _How can someone be scared of a five-year-old?_

If you had a demented sister who scared Nico, son of Hades, out of his wits, then you should be scared too. Very scared.

…

So currently, as Annabeth Chase was walking across the strawberry fields at Camp Half-Blood, she noticed someone hiding inside the strawberry clumps. "Percy? What are you doing here?"

"Annabeth!" Percy's frightened face popped up from the strawberries. "Thank gods, it's just you."

"Just me?" replied Annabeth, vaguely offended. "What do you mean, _just_ me?"

"It's good," Percy whispered, suddenly looking very secretive, "that it's only you, not Nico, or…or…_her_."

Ah. From the events of the past few days, Annabeth knew that Nico was currently raising an army of the dead to kill Percy, and _her_ meant that Lacey Jackson, Percy's newly found little sister, was probably trying to kill Percy in some other way.

Funny. It seemed as if there was always someone trying to kill Percy. At least Nico was also scared of Lacey.

"Oh, Percy," Annabeth sighed, sitting beside her boyfriend. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You can go and get rid of Lacey for me, and make Nico not want to kill me anymore," was the muffled response. "Got any ideas before I die?"

Annabeth flashed back to a certain event, a long time ago, which involved Percy singing and a lot of his enemies running away. An inkling of an idea began to form in her mind, and she smiled. "Athena always has a plan."

"That's…nice…" said Percy. "So, um, could you actually tell me what the plan is?"

"You'll see."

"I want to know now!"

"You'll see."

"Annabeth—"

But she had already ran towards the Big House. Percy was left there to blink, confused, for a moment. Then, he promptly went back to hiding in the strawberry clumps.

…

"Welcome to the Percy Jackson singing show!" Annabeth yelled brightly in to the microphone in her hand. She was standing on a stage she had set up in front of the strawberry fields, and crowds of demigods now thronged around her.

"Let's welcome our judges!" she continued happily. "First of all, we have Nico di Angelo, son of Hades!" She used her magic transporting skills and randomly made Nico appear on stage, to a lot of applause. Nico stood there, blinking in the sudden light, then turned to Annabeth angrily. "Annabeth! I was raising an army of the undead to kill Percy! What am I doing here?"

Annabeth ignored him and smiled at the audience. "Our other judge…will be—" A drumroll sounded in the speakers, and she flung her hands up in a theatrical gesture. "The one and only—LACEY JACKSON!"

"Oh, no," Nico whimpered, and tried to shadow travel away, but Annabeth had installed a special system that prevented Nico from escaping. Lacey stepped on stage, smiling at everyone cheerfully. Nico whimpered again, and tried to run away.

"And now, for the contestant!" Annabeth shouted. "I introduce you all to—PERCY JACKSON!"

"Huh?" Percy's head popped up the moment he heard his name. Sadly, it was too late to do anything as he was forcefully dragged by Annabeth on stage. Once he stepped onto the stage, immediately, Nico and Lacey looked extremely angry and murderous.

"Now, now," said Annabeth cheerfully. "Come on, you two. It won't be any fun if you kill the contestant during the show. So, Percy, are you ready to sing?"

"SING?" squeaked Percy loudly. "YOU WANT ME TO SING?"

"Calm down, Seaweed Brain," assured Annabeth soothingly, patting Percy gently on the arm. "Don't go into the hysterics when you're so young. Be calm. Yes, sing. We all know your ability to, uh, "—she cringed—"sing beautifully."

_Half an hour later…_

"Fine," Percy grumbled, after he had tried escaping the stage three hundred and nine times. "I'll sing."

"Yay! Good job, Percy! You have found the true meaning of life!"

"What?"

"Oh never mind," Annabeth muttered. "Okay, fine. What do you want to sing?"

"Uh…"

"Oh, whatever," Annabeth quickly cut in. "Time is running out, before Nico and Lacey kill you! Hurry! Sing!" She thrust the microphone in Percy's hands and disappeared.

"Hey," Percy grumbled. "Why does she get to disappear and I don't?"

"JUST SING!" yelled the screaming crowd of demigods below him. Yes, they were still there, after all this time.

"Um…" said Percy. "Okay…uh…lalala."

Immediately, half the crowd spontaneously combusted and the other half ran away screaming in terror.

"Okay…" mumbled Percy. "Um…" He looked around. Nico and Lacey were writhing on the floor in agony, and Lacey…disappeared and died! Yay.

"That was convenient…" muttered Percy. "Um…"

"Percy…I promise I'll never try to kill you again," gasped Nico. "If only…if only you'd stop singing…"

"Okay…" said Percy (again). "Sure…"

He cast one last confused glance around, shrugged, and walked off.

**[A/N]: **Wow, Percy needs some singing lessons o.O

Next up. "Child of Percy and Annabeth," since everyone seems so intent on having me write a parody on that.

I'm going to start revamping the chapters of this story, make them better written (in some cases), changing the A/Ns to make them look better, and changing the format of the stories…to make them better looking. Yep.

I've got a new story posted! It's called _unsighted_ (yes, the _u_ is not capitalized on purpose) and it's my story of the former Oracle of Delphi! You know, the girl who turned into a hippie mummy and was stuck in the attic for a couple of decades. Fun, y'know. Please check it out and review it? I'll love you forever…(not in _that_ way). :D

Or I'll turn you into a fish and eat you up. This threat seems to work every time, so…you know… :P

Hey, so, I'm thinking of doing a parody of all the books, starting with _The Lightning Thief_, in script format. Should I put them as part of this story, or should I do them as separate stories?


	15. Child of Percy and Annabeth

**[A/N]: **Because so many of you are just begging me to do this parody. In which clichéness comes around, and readers get to facepalm. Have fun.

(Haha, I UPDATED. FINALLY. AFTER FOREVER. Lol.)

Okay, really random fact of the day: I was looking through the essays I wrote over summer vacation for school last year, and the ending sentence in one of them was "I could finally wander through the dandelion fields of fantasy, playing with my favorite characters in a galaxy that will last me forever."

I write strange things sometimes. o.O

Child of Percy and Annabeth

Like, hi! I'm Oceania Owla de Storma Jackson! I'm a demigod, and a really special demigod at that. My father is the great hero of Olympus, Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon. My mother is Annabeth Chase Jackson, daughter of Athena. She's also a great hero of Olympus. So already, I'm extremely special, with special parents. Isn't that cool?

I've got beautiful, long blonde hair and deep green eyes. People have told me that my green eyes are like windows to the soul. There is so much emotion and beauty, so much meaning, in my eyes, that often, when people look into them, they are swept away with amazement and wonder.

But what's more, I have special powers. _Very_ special powers.

You see, from the moment I was born, I could control water expertly. I'm also a hundred times smarter than a normal child my age. At the age of five, I was already discussing the works of Socrates, Plato, and all those other very important philosophers! My math skills are superb! I can write as well as any great writer! And best of all—I'm so good at everything that I'm not even dyslexic and ADHD. Amazing, huh!

I'm sixteen now, the same age my parents were when they saved the world. And of course, by now, I've saved world five times: once from rebel demigods, once from titans (again), once from the apocalypse (that was actually rather difficult; I have such a tale to tell!), once from glowing aliens that decided they wanted delicious human beings for a salad, and once from the Dark Lord, who is most definitely _not _from _Harry Potter_. Maybe.

I'm such a stellar student that I haven't been kicked out of a single school yet, and I attend Camp Half-Blood over the summer. I excel at monster fighting—alas, I smell so delicious to monsters that they attack me on a basis of ten times a day, but with my superb skills, I can fight them off. I have to attend Camp Half-Blood though, because a girl's gotta have some rest every year from being attacked by monsters all the time.

Ah, yes. Camp Half-Blood.

Let me tell you something about Camp Half-Blood. As you all know, Camp Half-Blood is respite and training center for most demigods in the United States.

Well, the son of Nico di Angelo spends his summers in the Hades cabin, and _oh my freaking gods_. Bob di Angelo is the most . Even his name, 'Bob,' makes girls swoon. I know. 'Bob,' is a really normal name, especially compared to mine, but Bob di Angelo just puts all the Bobness into the name 'Bob.' You know what I mean?

And Bob di Angelo is _so_ totally in love with me. I mean, it's like, totally _obvious_.

(Yeah, well, I guess he's not so bad…maybe bordering on my dream Prince Charming?)

Anyway. Enough about that son of the son of Hades (see! Even that title is interesting enough to be intriguing!). There are plenty of boys (in other words, every single guy at camp) who are so totally in love with me. That's not the point of this story. The whole entire point of this story is to terrorize you with my perfect, creepy Mary-Sueness—I mean, to entertain you with my amazing quest and how I saved the world again. Come on now. Even the gods in Olympus are still talking about my _first_ achievement.

Very well. This tale starts in my cabin. Because I'm part Athena, part Poseidon (and so special), the campers made a special cabin for me. Yes, I know. I'm so special!

Back to the story—I was in my cabin when Chiron came trotting up, anxiety and worry evident on his face. "Oceania Owla de Storma Jackson," he said seriously, "I am so sorry, but the world is in danger again. You must save it!"

I gasped. "What is it Chiron? More aliens?"

"No, my child," he replied gravely. "Much worse, much worse. A plague called 'ahajfsgjmchdlfjsafjalgh' has struck demigods worldwide. You must heal them all, and stop this plague for once!"

I went to stand next to the centaur and told him reassuringly, "Don't worry, Chiron. I will save the world!"

Using my amazing intelligence, I figured out where the plague presided in the world. Then, using my amazing water powers, I cured everyone in an instant.

"Wow!" cried Chiron a minute later. "That was amazing! You have saved the world again!"

Of course, I, ever so modest, had to assure Chiron that it was nothing. I mean, I seem to save the world every other day, so it wasn't _that _big of a deal. Duh.

Suddenly, I had a great idea (due to my awesome intelligence, of course). "Chiron, why don't I use my powers to make it so that nothing will threaten the health of the world _ever _again?"

Chiron gasped. "Wow! That's a genius idea! Oceania Owla de Storma Jackson, you are so smart!"

"Thank you," I replied honestly, "but call me Oceania. Not all beings upon the earth can say my name properly all the time, long as it is." I sighed, tears running down my face. "Oh, I love my name, yes, for my parents are such great name-givers, but there simply aren't enough intelligent people in this world who are able to pronounce my name in one breath."

Chiron ignored the jibe at his intelligence level (because it wasn't even an insult. I would _never_ imply something so mean and terrible) and grinned happily. "Alright then, Oceania. You may embark on a quest to make sure that nothing will threaten the health of the world ever again."

"Thank you so much!" I squealed gracefully, then hugged Chiron. The centaur patted me on the back affectionately, then cleared his throat.

"Oceania, my dear, I do believe that you may bring someone on your quest," he said solemnly. "In fact—I think someone has volunteered already."

Now, how in the world did you guess? For indeed, in the very next moment, Bob di Angelo appeared out of nowhere, saying, "Your wish is my command, O princess!"

Isn't he so romantic?

I blushed, smiled prettily (not that I'm being vain or anything), and took his hand. "I'm very touched, Bob." I can't deny that I felt rather thrilled when I said his name, but that's not the point. "I would love for you to accompany me on this quest."

Chiron coughed in his fist. "Well now, um, shall you all proceed on this quest?"

"Of course, Chiron," I replied to the centaur, and Bob shadow traveled the two of us to the center of earth. Once there, I used my amazing water powers to protect us from the dreadful heat, and we started searching for the cause of all things evil on earth.

In a minute, using my amazing intelligence, I found the cause. "Bob! Look!" I exclaimed. "I've found the solution to everything!"

Bob kissed me in congratulations (oh! The swooning!) and shadow traveled us back to Camp. Once there, I used my amazing powers to get rid of all the problems and evil of this world. The end.

And now, I'm happily united with Bob and the world is absolutely perfect.

Isn't this such a wonderful tale?

**[A/N]: **Reviews shalt be much appreciated. :D

Now, onto serious business:

This is the last chapter of _Parodies of PJO_. I'm done with this story. I know that I've gotten so much support for this story, but honestly, I'm not exactly overly proud of it. I hope I've made every single reader laugh at least once within these fifteen chapters (due to the humor—hopefully not the terrible writing XD), but I feel as if this story is too…it's kind of hard to find the correct words, but…perhaps… uh…shallow? Badly written? Somewhat rather pointless? No reflection on what writing truly is? Completely pointless? Not really writing?

Anywho, my point is that I've had great fun writing this story and (hopefully) amusing all my readers, but I think that this fun's over, and I've got to move on to other writings. I'm probably going to delete this story…or I might just keep it for old times' sake. Thanks for all the support—I wouldn't have lived without it (:P), but this story is finished.

Oh, and one last thing. Try not to kill me, yesh? XD I've still got other stories…if anyone wants to read them…-hints-


End file.
